Almost 2 years after.....

It's quite simple: I was dumped. Almost 2 years ago the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with told me that he met someone else and left me for her. To say it was a shock would be belittling my feelings. I did not see it coming and I thought we were happy, we were even trying for a child. To get over it all I threw myself into work at some point though work stops and you have to start thinking about what went wrong. When you are in a relationship for awhile you get comfortable and that is what happened to me. I got too comfortable.... But is that wrong?! If I couldn't be myself with this person who could I be myself with? I guess the person I was wasn't the person he wanted. I keep torturing myself with all these thoughts making myself the bad guy in this situation. I just can't seem to get the answer I want from him because I am afraid to ask and spend time with him because I still have feelings for him and I don't want to forgive him because what he did to me was unforgivable to me but is it wise to hold such a grudge?